


Destiny's Game

by bluebutterfly08



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family, Forgiveness, Modern Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Past Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Psychological Trauma, Suicide Attempt, aot - Freeform, keeping secrets, levihan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-05 08:37:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11574432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebutterfly08/pseuds/bluebutterfly08
Summary: She falls on her knees, tears streaming down her face, fists clenched on her sides. Never did she imagine, that this day would come again. And she prays to whoever God that's listening, That this time it's all just a nightmare even if she won't be waking up from it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> That moment when your favourite author gave kudos to your work.OMG I can't get over it!!
> 
> ( LadyinBlack you don't have any idea how much you inspired me with your works =')  
> This should be a one shot fic, but I really got inspired so I'm going to make it 3chapters  
> It's kinda heavy but I always believe that whatever happens we should fight to have a happy ending. That's how we should live our lives.

"You sure that's her? "

A man in his late 20's asked the guy he hired for kidnapping a certain woman. He's got a serious look on his face, no one would ever dare to be on his bad side. 

He eyed the sleeping woman tied on a steel pole and lying on the hard wooden table. 

"Yes sir. "Answered one of the guys accompanying him in the secluded room. "We followd her for more than a month, and we asked her neighbors about her identity so we are very sure we got the right person. "

   "Very well then."

He walked in front of her. No wonder his brother fell in love with her. With this kind of body and even if her head is being covered by a black cloth you could never mistake that she is beautiful. An evil smirk formed on his lips. "Let's see what else can we do out of this beautiful body of yours."

"Let's wait until she wakes up, we have enough time anyway. "

 

She opened her eyes,  but she can't see anything. She groans as she felt a pain at the back of her head. That's right! She remembered being grabbed by a couple of men, she struggled and fought but when she tried to shout someone hit her then everything went black. She tried to move but her hands are tied. She tried to feel her surroundings, which she fails to do, she's still feeling dizzy and she can't see anything. 

 

"I see your awake,"

 

She heard someone said."How was your sleep if I may ask? "

 

"Who are you? "

 

The man slapped her. 

 

"I asked the question first."

 

He eyed her from her position. From her hands tied above her head, down to her cleavage showing due to her clothes getting disarranged by the way his men carried her, to her small waist and down to her long,smooth legs being shown for she was just wearing a mini skirt. 

 

He licked his lips. His minds starting to drift off into not so innocent thoughts. 

 

 

 

He was waiting  for this moment...to finally take revenge for his brother's  death a year ago. His brother was in college, just a few more months and he'll be graduating. All his sacrifices will now bear fruit. After working abroad for 5 years just to sustain his brother's studies, he can now go home and live with him. And they will have a comfortable life, they'll never have to beg for food or sleep in dirty alleyways anymore. Living in the streets made them close as ever and even thought them a lot of lessons in life. They became wise in their decisions. Learn how to weight every situation. They manage to crawl their way out of misery. Their dreams are finally coming true. But it all came tumbling down when he received a letter one faithful morning. 

 

 

 

He was about to go to work when the letter was delivered to him. He is not sure why he is receiving a letter from someone he doesn't  know, but the address came from his brother's  school. He was nervous but he opened the letter  nevertheless. 

 

 

 

His eyes grow wide. Tears forming at the corners of it. It became hard to breath and time seems to stop. He can't believe what was written in the letter. His brother was dead. 

 

 

 

He committed suicide. He was found hanging in his room. After missing school for almost a week without further notice. The teachers began to suspect something 's not definitely right..for he's a very active and bright student. He even participated in some non-curricular activities. So when he didn't show up at school for days and even his classmates doesn't know his whereabouts they decided to go look for him. They visited him on his house and there they found out that it was locked, but from the inside. So after shouting and banging the door for a long time and still no response, they called the authorities to intervene. Forcing their  way in, they we're greeted by a foul smelling odor. Walking further they found his room and there in the middle of it hangs a blanket tied around his brother's  neck and his body was already in the first stage of decomposition process. 

 

 

 

He crumpled the paper on his hands and gripped his hair. He wanted to shout. He wanted to break something, beat anyone he could lay his hands to. But all he could do was kneel down and cry. His brother, their dreams, the reason for all his sacrifices... All gone. 

 

 

 

Someone will surely pay for this. Along with the letter says they found a suicide note. One with his name on it, and the other to a woman named Zoe. 

 

It says that he was devastated that she married another man. Richer and older than him He thought that what they have was serious and everything that happened to them. He also said in the letter that he'll never forgive her for aborting their child just to marry that old fart. He can't believe his brother fell in love for a slut like her. He'll never forgive her. He'll find her no matter what and make her wish she was never born. 

 

 

 

He closed his eyes and steeled himself. He can't show weakness in front of this bitch and those pigs behind him, waiting to ravish this bitch. He tries to remember the photo of his brother's  lifeless body that was sent to him, to fuel his rage. His eyes darkened, sending a murderous glare to the woman in front of him, trembling with fear. "I heard you like to be fucked, by old geezers to be exact, how about I give you several fucks tonight, huh? "

 

"After I'm done with her, you could have your way with her, " He said to the men behind him, loud enough  for the woman to hear. 

 

 

 

"No... Please don't do this to me... "She began to beg. "I-i didn't  do anything wrong with you, I don't even know you! "

 

He walked to his prey slowly, as if enjoying all the pleads and begging she's doing right now. That's right... beg for your life... He stopped in front of her, grabbed her shirt and ripped it open. She gasped when she realized what he did. She's topless now and she can here some men laughing and cat calling as he did so. 

 

 

 

Her breasts we're fully exposed up to her waist. She sobs. She tried to free herself  from the rope that's  tying her hands, but to no avail. 

 

"Please, believe me, I didn't  do anything wrong with you, you're  making a mistake-

 

"He slapped her again, hard. 

 

"I don't want to hear any lies coming from you. You  fucking slut"he muttered in a venomous tone. 

 

 

 

Panic starts to envelope her whole being. "I'm begging you, please... "

 

 

 

He then grabbed her skirt and tear it apart.Only her red underwear was left to cover her private part. "

 

"Hmmm, no wonder any guy would fall for you, but just because of your body, nothing else, they all just used you for fucking, you know why? Because your a slut, a fucking whore"

 

 

 

He then ripped her underwear and throw it at the men behind him, Shouting and laughing like mad men. 

 

He groped her left breast and lean on her ear. 

 

"How do you want this? "

 

 

 

She's crying now, by the way he's groping her breast hurts. It was her first time. Nobody has ever touched her body. Why is she being raped now. She can't remember any enemy she had. Sure she play pranks to everyone but they are all her friends, and it will never come to a point that she would be kidnapped and violated like this. So why her?, why her of all people. 

 

He saw the gold butterfly necklace she's wearing, he snatched it from her neck and put it inside his pocket. 

 

"Do you want it hard? Or want me to get easy on you,? Either way I guess"

 

 

 

She's crying and pleading for him to stop. She tries to wriggle in an attempt to move her body away from him but she can't really do much in her position. 

 

Where are they?  What kind of place is this? Who are these people? What is he talking about? All her thoughts we're clouded when she felt him licking her other breast, then he moved to her neck., he bit her hard there, enough to draw blood, then travelled his way down to her chest, where he sucked and bit her along the way. She felt him caress her inner thighs slowly until he reach her folds, He rubbed his fingers there back and fort. 

 

 

 

She could feel how wet she is. She suppressed her gasps and moans. What he's doing is surely having an effect on her but she can't let him know. She's a sweating mess right now, and it became worst when his fingers were replaced by his tounge.

 

 

 

 She lost her mind. She feels like in ecstacy. She's fighting hard to control her pleasure. Then he sucked her hard, and she felt so embarrassed when her body arched involuntarily. He licked all the way to her bud, and back to her folds again. Entered his tongue in her opening and wiggle it inside. She's panting hard. It won't take long for her to reach her limit and soon she's coming hard into his mouth. He continued his ministrations until the very last drop of her cum. 

 

He scoffed "so how do you like that? Sure you have lots to compare to right?" 

 

"Let's try again shall we? "

 

 

 

She heard him shuffle away from her, she knows what his doing, and she can't allow it more, so she tried to shout and yell for help, even tugging the rope harder, hoping someone could hear her. 

 

He smirks, "You can't do anything now. No one will hear you. No one will rescue you. "

 

Suddenly he took hold of both of her legs, held it high and aimed for her opening, without missing a beat he entered her. She screamed at the sudden pain, she feels like she was being torn apart, her insides are hurting. 

 

 

 

Something not right, it's like he's fucking a virgin. It can't be. She's already married long time ago, and his brother mentioned that they almost had a child so why does it feel like... 

 

 

 

"Uhm boss, what's wrong? "

 

His men can't help but ask seeing his sudden confused expression. 

 

 

 

"Shut up"he  pulled out of her.

 

"Fuck! she's so tight, so tight it almost hurts."

 

But he paid it no mind, he continued ramming into her, as hard as he could. He could see blood dripping between her legs, but he doesn't care.  

 

 

 

The woman lying underneath him already stopped moving. All he can hear is her sobbing and constant pleading. He spears her over and over again. He didn't stop until he felt his release,didn't even bother pulling out of her. 

 

 

 

He ran his hand on his damp hair. Zipped up his pants and sat on a chair on the side of the table, He nods his head to his men. 

 

"Your turn, have fun with her."

 

 

 

They jumped in joy as they made their way to the helpless woman lying in front of them. Some started groping her breasts and body and every parts exposed to them. They take turns on raping her, even made her do several positions. 

 

He just sat there and watch everything they do to her. 

 

He could feel his desire rising again to his core, but feels disgusted of having to touch her again now that another men already played with her. 

 

 

 

He stood up but before he left, he spoke to them. "After you're done throw her somewhere else, but don't kill her, and I mean it."

 

 He drops a thick white envelope on the ground. "Here's your payment. Clear all the evidences before you leave." 

 

"Yes boss! "They all answered the mysterious man who walked out of the door as if nothing had happened. 

 

 

 

    With heavy feet, he dragged himself out of the room, and it took everything in him not to glance back at the helpless woman being toyed around by those men he paid. He got  his revenge,finally. But why is he still not satisfied. 

 


	2. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the wrong spellings, auto correction really sucks, but it saves me a lot of time typing words. This is the second chapter. Hope you like it.

He wipes the cold sweat dripping from his forehead. He stood by his window, letting the cold breeze calm him down. He covered his face with his hands. Every night for the past 10 years he has the same dream.

 

A woman was standing in front of him but he can't see her face. She just keeps on crying but he doesn't know why. He tried to touch her, but every time he comes near her she suddenly disappears. Then he would hear his brother's voice, he sounds like he's hurt. He's asking him over and over again why did he hurt her? Why her?...he wants to ask him who is he talking about. But after that he would wake up.

 

He remembers the girl 10 years ago. Perhaps taking revenge by his own hands was a mistake. But what else could he do. Police can't get someone arrested for being the reason of someone committing suicide. Dammit! He just wants justice for him. But at what price. Now he could never sleep peacefully ever since that day, he regret everything he did but there's no turning back now. What's done is done. And has no idea what happened to that girl. He never heard anything about her in the news. No missing person, or body found, he ordered them to let keep her alive anyway.

 

He doesn't know if it's a good or bad thing that no one went looking for her. He feels guilty every time he thinks about her. How could he ever be so weak and let his anger and despair took him over.

 

He thought once he found her and made her suffer he would live a normal life again, but he's still suffering no matter what. His life remained in misery. He avoided many people who tried to be close to him. He admits, what he did was cruel, something that can never be forgiven. And everyday he punished his self by succumbing to loneliness. He never gave his self a chance to be happy, he doesn't deserve it.

 

He went to work everyday exhausting himself to sleep. But the feeling of guilt never left him.

 

He wants to see her again. In any way he could, he wants to apologize, to beg for forgiveness. Anything. He will all let her do anything she wants with him. He even readied himself to go to prison if she asks to. Besides he doesn't have anything left at all. He has no one to come home to. No one to work for.

 

He never lived a peaceful life. Not until this past few years, when he met someone he truly cared about.

 

This is what's bothering him more than ever before. There's a chance of happiness for him. Again. But he has a dark past. One that he kept hidden for a long time that he even swore he will take it to his grave till the very end. But he can't keep secrets forever. He doesn't want to lose her just because of his mistakes from the past.

 

His thoughts drifted back to her. To that innocent smile that melted his cold heart from the very first time he saw it. It was the day he decided to see the world again,the day he let himself care for other people. To look after them and help them in anyway he can.

 

Having a new purpose in life, Sure wasn't that easy but at least by that he could now have his chance to pay for his sins. It won't erase the bad things he did in the past but at least this could somehow lessen the guilt he feels inside it, the burden he carried on his shoulders for a long time now. Not in a way that it should be or the justice system in this country allows,but somehow it'll do.

 

He remembered it all happened 7 years ago.

 

He was on his way home that afternoon when a girl in her teens approached him. She gave him one of the fliers she is giving away to everyone. She said that they were volunteers from a charity institute. They help the victims of abuse,both women and children. They help them to overcome their trauma and to get back to their usual selves. They are asking for donations and also some more volunteers who would like to help them with their charity works.

 

He looked at the paper on his hand.

 

Maybe this is what he's been looking for, his chance to pay for his crimes. Something good to do.

 

He took the paper that was given to him,put it inside his pocket and continued his walk on his way home. He took his house keys out of his coat's breast pocket and opened his door.

 

He was greeted by nothing but darkness. He switched on the lights and put down his things. He went in his kitchen to get a bottle of water to drink. After drinking half of it, he remembers the paper that the girl gave him. Rose Institute for Women and Children. He thinks for a while, maybe he could pay this centre a visit on his free time.He doesn't have anything to spend his money anyways. He has a house of his own. A car he never got to use often, for his work was just a couple of blocks away and he never have any friends to hang out with. The only place he would only go was the grocery store and his brothers grave. So he decided to go to this place on one of these days.

 

And then he met Hanji.

 

He's walking on a white tied floor,with walls painted in soft pastel colours which made it even look livelier. There were butterfly designs and flowers on the walls and doors, most were made by those children that's being taken care in here.

 

It was quiet this time around. Ah yes... he remembered it's their schedule for outdoor activities today. He continued walking on the long hallway until he reached the door that leads to the garden on the other side and classrooms on the left.

 

He was a few minutes late today . He heard faint voices on his right and there he could see the children playing along with some adults accompanying them. They look happy and so alive. They wave at him when they noticed him standing there and looking at them.

 

He remembers his brother was used to be like that. Eren was so full of energy he often gets himself in trouble, he shook his head in amusement as he remembers him one day coming home with dirty clothes and dishevelled appearance. He's cradling a tiny kitten in his arms. Before he could scold him, Eren started explaining what happened. He says he rescued it from a tree and he tripped on his way down so he fell on the muddy grass. He was beyond pissed that time. And for Eren, knowing he's brother was a clean freak he knows he is in deep trouble going home like that,so he he showed to him the most adorable puppy eyes he could ever make. How could he resist those puppy eyes that Eren keeps on making. So he reluctantly let him keep the kitten but he insisted on washing them both. Thrice. Eren agreed.

 

He could feel another presence behind him as he continued watching the children play around the garden. He very well knows who it is. Does she really have to do this every time he comes here? He sighed.

 

"I know you're there Hanji. You can come out now." He said in a bored tone.

 

But the woman made no attempt of moving. Damn, she's caught. She's planning to catch him off guard, tackle him from the back and make him carry her up to her room on the third floor, a little punishment for making her wait for 10 minutes. She planned for this all morning but again, it failed so instead she ran into him and hugged him from his back.

 

"Why are you late?" She whispers on his ear while her arms are around his neck.

 

He glanced at the woman on his back. "I had to go somewhere else. " Hanji let go of his neck and he turned around to face her. He gave her just a quick peck on the lips. He doesn't want anyone mostly a child to see them doing something intimate in here.

 

"Oh you visited Eren today?, next time let me come with you, I wanna visit him too. "

 

"Alright tell me when you're free and I'll pick you up. "He tugged playfully on her ponytail.

 

"Sure thing."she giggled.

 

"By the way four eyes, I got you this." He handed her that bouquet of white roses he bought in a flower shop.

 

"Oh is it really for me. " She gasped and smelled the fragrant flowers he gave her.

 

He rolled his eyes at her."Don't play dumb four eyes, you pestered me the whole day last time I was here to buy you this shitty flowers, who else will I give this too?" Hescowls at her.

 

She can't help but laugh. She really likes it when Levi is pissed, he really looks adorable. She told him once and he refused to talk to her even on the phone for 3 days. So she just kept her thoughts to her self.

 

She hugged him and whispers into his ear. "I know silly I'm just messing with you. "

 

He scoffs. "I think my life was already messed enough ever since I met you shitty four eyes."

 

She laughed more at his statement.

 

"I know, I know,but you love every minute of it."

 

"Damn right."and he gave him a small smile, something he never got to do before, before he met this crazy woman in front of him.

 

He met her the first day he came to this shelter. She welcomed him and even volunteered to show him around. He was about to refuse but after letting him to introduce himself for a just a few moments ,she didn't waste time grabbing his arms without warning and started dragging him around like a child being lost.

 

He wants to murder her on the spot. But when he looked at her, he can't help but stare. She have such a beautiful pair of brown eyes. Her lips always forming a smile every time she looks at him. She's taller than him by a few inches, which he took as another reason to murder her, but her laugh and her voice, is what draws him to her.

 

He took noticed of her voice which is somewhat very familiar to him. He just can't remember when or where he heard it but he's sure he had heard it before.

 

After a long day of tour,meeting the staffs, giving his donations and listening to her constant babbling which is very much against his will, He bid his goodbye.

 

He was about to go out the door when she called to him and she saw her running towards him.

 

"Hey! " she stopped in front of him. "Would you come again.. Maybe some other time? "

 

"Are you serious four eyes, my ears are still ringing for hearing your stupid stories and laughs the whole fucking day, "

 

He sent her an unimpressed look, but then, she looked at him with her big brown puppy eyes which reminds him back of Eren.

 

He can't fucking refuse her.

 

"Fine I'll be back."he sighed.

 

Her face lit up and she begins to jump up and down.

 

"Really alright!, "

 

"I can't promise you, but I'll try to come here sooner. "He informed her.

 

"It's alright, it's alright, you coming back here again is what matters. Have a safe trip on you way home, Mr Ackerman. "

 

"Levi, just call me Levi. " He said while looking up at her with his bored expression.

 

She smiles, that smile that made his breath hitched.

 

"Alright Levi. I'll be looking forward on seeing you again. "

 

He nods "Thank you."

 

"Be careful. "she yells at him.

 

"You too. Try not to kill yourself 'till I get back. " He says loudly not looking back at her.

 

She laughs louder at his parting message.

 

He gets inside his car and starts his engine. As he look on his side mirror while his driving out of the centre,he saw her still standing in the doorway waving like an idiot. He chuckled. She's just like a fucking child. And as he pulls through the driveway he glances back at her image on the side mirror once again until she's nowhere of sight.

 

It's been 7 years actually from the very first day he saw her idiot face and endured her crazy antics.

 

He was reluctant at first. He wanted to keep his distance from her, but you could never escape this whirlwind of a mess once she marked you.

 

She said he was her best friend on their second meeting. He wasted enough energy driving three hours to go to this place so he just let her do what she wants with him in the end.

 

Thankfully she has a better idea that day. She took him in the garden and made him sit on one of the benches under the tree. They just sat there for a few minutes until he got tired of it.

 

"What exactly are we doing here four eyes? "

 

"Well, what do you want us to do" she answers back. In a matter of fact tone.

 

His eyebrow twitched in annoyance. He reminds himself his reason for going back in this place. I'm doing a good deed. I repeat. I am trying to do a good deed.

 

"You're the one who dragged me in this place,stupid."

 

He expects a better answer this time from her, and he fails for the nth time.

 

"I know and I'm not stupid. " She somehow sounded hurt on his remark.

 

He doesn't care.

 

"Remind me every fucking time you would open your mouth shithead."

 

She giggles on his reply.

 

Do not wring her neck.

 

"Geez what crawled up your ass and died? "

 

He glared at her which obviously has no effect whatsoever.

 

"I just want you to relax, even just for a little time." She answered in a thoughtful manner. "You're very tensed out there. You don't like a lot people huh?"

 

"I don't like people." He dead pans.

 

"Pssh.,come on. You know that's not true, you like me."

 

"Please refresh my memory and fucking tell me the time and place I said that.

 

"You don't, I just know."

 

He raised his eyebrow at her, "What your a psychic now? "

 

"Nope, but I did take up psychology during college. "

 

Well that's new. He thought she took up clownistry in a very far mountain in their neighbouring planet, and he's not exaggerating.

 

She continued."And I can clearly read you Levi. I know how you feel. You have a dark past right? Well most of us here do, I was once a patient here before I decided to work and dedicate my life helping the other children and women suffering here, just like I did in the past. "

 

He scoffed. "I'm not suffering four eyes. "

 

"Yes you do. Only you hide it better than us,and your here because you want to help them too right? You understand how they feel. You very much know how it feels like . But you can't hide it forever Levi. I know your suffering and I want to help you...take your time. You don't have to tell me now, or every detail of it. Just remember that I'm here and I'll be here for you, always."

 

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He can't understand what's going on. He just knew for a week and yet it's as if she has been by his side all his life. But he can't deny he likes what he is hearing right now.

 

Finally someone he could talk to, someone who'll be there for him... That's just what she said right!?

 

He struggled for words to say, but all he that left his mouth was..." You sure about the four eyes? Because once I agree there's no turning back. "

 

She grins at him. "Of course, I'm your best friend after all"

 

"More like a shitty friend to me."

 

"Ahaha, you really like poop jokes aren't you?...so when do we start?"

 

She nudged him with her elbow,with more force than she intended to.

 

He started to cough. "How about now four eyes by trying not to kill me first. "

 

She scratched the back of her head and grin sheepishly at him.

 

He stares at the woman trapped in his arms. Ever since that day his life has changed,he didn't deserve a happy life but he's grateful for this.

 

But he's got something to tell her, and he needs to tell her now. The sooner the better. He doesn't know what will happen next, or will she accept him after hearing all the words he would say. But he has to take the chance, he has to be brave or they'll never be moving forward with their lives.

 

He loves her and he's very sure she does too, for she's the one who says it more openlythan him. His palms are sweating now. He's nervous but he's trying to calm his self.

 

Sensing a sudden tension in his actions Hanji carefully asked him what's wrong.

 

He looked in her eyes trying to fight the uneasy feeling building up inside him. He wanted to do it in some other place, in a more private place and just the two of them but he's getting anxious as the minutes pass by.

 

His knees are now getting weak. He bit his lip. And look down on the floor.

 

Now Hanji is, also getting worried, "Levi-" She asked him in a worried tone, -what's wrong? "

 

Then he went down on one knee. He took out a red velvet box in his pocket and asked her...

 

"Hanji , you're the craziest and messiest human being I've ever met in my entire life, but you gave me a reason to live, to be happy and to clean more than I ever did before. Would you be my shitty wife? "

 

She can't help the tears of happiness flowing freely down her face. This can't be true, his asking her to be his wife. Someone she constantly annoy and pester every time they are together.

 

He took the ring from the box and held her hand, he wore the ring on her fourth finger, And he smiles at her, she hugged him and whispers word of happiness in his ear. This is the happiest day of her life. Soon she will be married to the man she loves. And nothing could ever come between them.

 

Or so she thought.

 

They are lying on his bed after one of their intimate moments that night.She was lying on his side. Her arm draped over his well toned stomach while he absently plays with her hair.

 

"Levi, "she asked him and looked on his face.

 

"Hmmmm. "

 

"Tomorrow I would like to bring you to my old house."

 

"Are you sure, I thought you never want to go back there.? "

 

He looked at her,he thinks for a moment. He doesn't want her to do something that will make her feel bad. He doesn't want her to feel obligated to do it just to make him feel better about marrying her, whatever her past was, he'll marry her no matter what.

 

"Yeah...but I think you deserve to know everything about me. Beside we're going to get married soon. I don't want us to be hiding anything from each other. " She muttered in a sleepy tone.

 

He stiffened at that.

 


	3. Revelations

"Oh you're back! So nice to see you again, it's been a long time since I last saw you, how are you doing my dear? " A woman in her late years asked Hanji. She has some difficulty in walking and her young granddaughter is accompanying her.

She was surprised someone had greeted her but then again their family used to live here for years before, so no wonder some people might still recognize her. "Oh yeah, it's been a while, how are you?"

"I'm fine still surviving life, how about you dear, we thought you've abandoned this place already, are you staying here for good now or you're just visiting the place?"

"Uhm, actually no. I just have to get some things here."

"Oh, alright, nice seeing you again my dear."

"You too. Have a good day." She wave them goodbye and chuckled as the woman's granddaughter turned her head back to her and wave back. Such a shame she can't remember them at all.

Levi raised his brow to her, "You know for someone who lived here you don't seem to know your neighbours that much. "

"Uhm well, I never met her before really, maybe she mistook me as my sister." she gave him a small shrug.

"Your sister? I didn't know you have one." Now he's more curious than ever. He never thought the woman he's marrying has siblings. He just hope they're not as crazy as the woman who stole his heart.

"Yeah...I'm sorry for not telling you. Let's go inside first, I'm gonna tell you the whole story, " she smiled at him.

"Alright." He nods.

She took the keys out from her pocket and opened the front door.

It was dirty and there are vines that has already crawled up her door. Levi helped her get some of it out of the way.

She opened the door and tried turning on the lights, which is not happening for it had been years since the electricity and water line was cut out.

She scoffed to her self, "Of course it wouldn't work silly. "

She turned to Levi, "I'm gonna go check if there are still candles left in the kitchen, you can wait for me here. "

He shook his head slightly, doesn't want the feeling of being alone in this kind of place, "No, I'll help you."

She snorted, "why are you scared, I didn't know my Wevi is afraid of creepy places."

"Tch, shut up shittyglasses- " he shoots her an unimpressed look , "-I just don't want you to make any mess in there, knowing how clumsy you are, and I don't want people to think your robbing this house because of your noises four eyes."

She laughs at his annoyed voice.

"Sure clean freak, what, you'll gonna start cleaning this place next? "

"I will if you plan on staying here, you're shit with cleaning anyway. "

They made their way to the kitchen. Thankfully there are some lights coming from the window that could help them in their search, which she noticed has already some cracks.

"You we're right this house looks like haunted now. " Tilting her head to the side she noticed some drawers and cupboard, she decides to start her search in there first.

Just a few seconds later she could already hear Levi opening and closing some drawers in the kitchen cabinet, so she followed his example. "Common, just one candle please." she whispered to no one in particular.

"I found it." She turned her head and saw Levi holding two candles,

"Now we only have to find a match."

"I have a lighter. "

Levi questioned her not exactly sure why she has one. He never seen her smoke the whole time they new each other. "The hell you have one?"

"Because I'm prepared. "

'Of fucking course. '

Damn he'll never win against this woman. He decided to just let it pass for today, it's her moment anyway.

He's still not fond of her idea of going back in this place for he knew very well that even if she had some good memories in this place, still, it will have a huge effect on her and he doesn't want to trigger anything. He doesn't want to see her hurt, but Hanji insisted that she should do it, she doesn't want to be a coward forever, and as his better half she wants to submit her self to him, body, soul and mind. Her past, present and future. Because the day of their wedding will be the beginning of their new life. No more pains, secrets, sufferings and sorrow to think of. It will only be the two of them until of course they would have their children. So for her, this step is like closing and opening a new chapter in their lives. So having nothing else to say, he agreed and said he'll support her in every way he can, and assured her that no matter what it is, he'll never leave her. He loves her so much, he'd rather die than live without her by his side.

After they lit up their candles, she held his hand and took him to the rest of the house.

"Remember the lady outside?- " she took a glance at him to make sure his listening "-she was talking about my sister, She was the one who grew up here."

The whole place is covered with dust and spider webs, but the furnitures are covered with white cloths to keep them in good condition, even if they are not being used.

"It's a nice house, if it's your sister she's talking about it means you never lived in here, is that it? " He turned his head to the side, trying to hide his disgust. His hands are twitching, he can't wait to lay his hands on every surface and corners of this house. He wants to clean this place but he can't do anything unless Hanji asks him too. He is not sure yet if she wants to stay in this place even.

"Yes, but I used to live here when I was a child. Our parents are already separated when we we're just 4 years old, so we are left to stay here with my Aunt and Grandma. Our parents already have their own families-" She took a glance at him, he squeezed her hand to indicate that he's still listening, "-so you could say we're not their priority anymore but they still support us financially until my Aunt decided to marry her long time boyfriend. After they got married they decided to move to the city. Grandma can't take care of us both, so my Aunt decided to take me with her. We had a happy life, her husband was nice too, they treated me like their own child. Me and my twin communicates every once in a while. She really looks like me, sometime we even fooled our parents. We switched our looks to pretend to be the other, what's funny is that they can't figure out who's who, and they say parents know their children very well huh. We we're so happy back then, until the day she changed."

Suddenly her face fell as she remembers her sister and the time everything changed. Levi's grip on her hand tightened, giving her the courage to continue. She inhales and slowly she released the air from her lungs, imagining it was all the pain and bad memories that was coming out of her system. Oh! she would've pay enough fortune if it could only be true.

"She became very quiet, far from the playful and happy kid she used to be. I can't blame her though. She took our parents divorce in a hard way, and we can't do anything for her. Until we reached college, and Grandma died because of her age. We tried to take her with us but she refused, saying she can take care of herself, and that's she's an adult now and she doesn't want to be a burden to anyone. It hurts me a lot, because she thought of us that way, but in the end we just let her do what she wants. Even if she refused to live with us, I still tried to keep in touch with her, and it's more often than before. I'm so worried about her back then, she's all alone and there's no one to look after her. I even visited her one time in her school. In Rose Maria University.

Levi chimed in,"Thats the school where Eren went in college."

She snapped her head towards him. An idea formed in her head. "Really, maybe they've known each other. "

He shook his head, brows furrowed. "I don't know Hanji. We can never know. Eren's gone now. How about you ask your sister?"

She shook her head. "I can't do that too, she's already dead , 11 years ago to be exact."

His eyes widened in surprise. Here he was readying himself in case tomorrow Hanji decides to introduce him to her sister too. And now he finds out she was already gone too like his brother. "Sorry to hear that. " He rubs soothing circles at the back of her hand he was holding.

"It's alright, it's been a long time ago anyway ." She shrugged her shoulders, but you could see the sadness in her eyes. And every minute it's becoming worst. He's torn between stopping her and letting her to continue. He tried to hold himself and asked her instead. "How did she die? "

"Deppression."

"Deppression?"

"Yeah,looks like we really have so much on common huh? " She looks at him, her lips slightly tugged upwards.

They stood in front of a glass cabinet and saw several pictures displayed inside. He noticed a picture of a family. It has four members, a tall guy with brown hair, and a tall woman with curly brown hair too but a shade lighter than the man's hair.

In the middle was two identical twins wearing identical dresses, one is colored pink, the other one is yellow. With matching ribbons in their hair too. They look so happy. He kept studying the family picture which is kinda old and has some dust in the frame already when his eyes fell on the necklace they are wearing.

His eyes went wide, "that necklace... "

She looked at him and then looked back at the picture. "Hmmm? Oh yeah, it's a matching necklace, " she took out the same necklace in the picture from her pocket.

It has a gold chain and silver colored butterfly pendant.

"This one is made of white gold, the other one is from gold. My father chose it to be like this so we can differentiate which one belongs to us. You know my organizational skills right? my sister is no different." She managed to give him a small smile. But instead of smiling back like he used to do sometimes, he has no reaction this time.

'Dammit.'

His blood ran cold, as he stares at the necklase on her hand. He swallowed hard.

'This can't be dammit. '

"Hanji you said your sister died from depression right?" He needs to be sure, maybe it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. But he knows there's no denying it anymore. It's here, the moment he's been so afraid would come.

"Yeah, I really didn't know what happened but... "

He can't hear the words she's saying anymore. His eyes became blurry. His world is spinning. His heart is beating fast.

It can't be true. It can't be true.

The girl,Eren fell in love with.

The girl he violated and raped...with other men... was Hanjis sister!

How could-How would he explain it to her...

Why is this happening now...

No, Hell Fucking No!

She won't forgive him, fuck! she won't ever forgive him if she found out the truth.

What will he do...He needs to get out of here. He needs to leave.

"Hanji.. What's your sister's name again? " He's looking on the ground. His hair blocking his eyes. His heart drums wildy inside his chest. His anxious to hear her next words.

"Oh yeah, I forget to tell you," she said with a small laugh.

"She's Bridgett. Bridgett Zoe. "

"But your surname is Taylor. "He whispered.

"You're right, actually I started using my Uncle's surname since Junior High, after they adopted me, since they can't have a child of their own. My real name is Hanji Zoe." She explained to him carefully watching his every reaction.

He dropped the candle he's holding, he took a step backwards. He was in an utter shock. He can't think anything to do but to run for the door. Hanji runs after him, "Levi wait!, where are you going, Levi! "

He ran towards his car and immediately left the place.

Hanji was able to run outside the gate but he has already driven a few meters away from her. She still runs after him. She could be seen on his rear view mirror but he didn't noticed. All he could think about was to just get away from here, anything but here. He can't stand being in that same place with Hanji. Where she used to have a happy life. Where her sister used to live, laugh and love. Until the day he ruined her.

Hanji was left standing there in shock. She never thought Levi would react this way, maybe it was a mistake, all of this.

Should she just kept this a secret her whole life, it wouldn't make her happy at all, thinking she's keeping a very important part of her from him. She wants him to know everything about her. Her happy memories, her passion, her family, her sad moments and the tragedy that once ruined her life. But at what cost. She watched him drove away from her. But not from her life, she won't let him. With tears welling at the corners of her eyes she whispered, "I haven't told you everything yet Levi... "

He's driving fast. Not caring if he almost bumped into some cars every time he overtakes. He can't care enough if he would die from this very moment, all he just wanted to do was to go as far as he could.

He doesn't have any destination in mind. He couldn't think. His mind is blank. He just drove to nowhere until he got tired of it.

He stepped on his break and punched the steering wheel a few times. Hoping he could punch his face instead. He heaved a heavy sigh. He wants to cry. He wants to question anyone who could fucking answer him. Why her of all people? Why him? Why them?

He got out of his car and walked several steps forward. He lifted his head a little to see where his car has taken him.

A beach.

He snorted. Of course he would go here. Instantly he remembered the time when he and Hanji went here for their second year anniversary.

She always loved the beach. He found out that day.

"What do you love about this shitty place four eyes." He shoots her a glare. He regrets waking up early today, driving five hours straight, wearing ridiculous summer outfit and sweating his ass off. " It's so fucking hot, and there's sand all over the place, it even gets in your things, and it smells fish everywhere. Fucking disgusting. Tch. "

She laughs loudly at his remarks, gaining attention from some of the people sun bathing and playing around them. She really loves seeing him like this, so pissed but even if he hates going here he still went with her. Though he never stopped swearing and cursing. She thinks it's really sweet of him.

"Common let's setup our tent so we could swim already, "

Lifting up his foot, he wriggles it to let the sand that gets into his slipper fall back. "Tent? I only brought a fucking beach towel shitty glasses. "

"Well I did. " She beams at him, clearly amused at how Levi struggles to get rid of all the sand.

"And may I ask why. " His getting pissed now. She didn't inform him that she's planning to stay here longer than what he agreed. Maybe next she'll ask him if they could stay here overnight.

"Because we're staying here overnight."

'I fucking knew it. '

"The hell, I thought we'll just stay here 'till afternoon idiot. " He's already losing this fight. They've played this game many times already. He knows very well how this will end.

"Oh common. It's not like we can go here anytime, please... Let's just enjoy our stay here... "

(She is starting to beg now. )

"I still have work tomorrow four eyes."

(He'll refuse her.)

"Please, I promise you'll get to choose the place on our third anniversary just let me have this one please... "

(She'll beg and will try bribing. In case this still doesn't work...puppy dog eyes will be her final attack. Goddamn Hanji. )

"That's what you've said on our first anniversary too four eyes, when you brought me in a fucking zoo." he dares her to say something.

"Seriously Hanji who celebrates their fucking first year anniversary in a fucking zoo!, I actually thought you'll make those animals do Mariachi and serve us food to complete your fucking lovely date. I was actually disappointed there isn't any gross beast to hold candles and shower us with rose petals. I shou-"

He was cut off when he felt her lips on his and spoke softly at him.

"What's wrong with that? Don't you think it's kinda romantic. Couples in love, dating close to nature. Everything is so natural and so alive. " She beams at him innocently.

"Yeah? You could say that when there's no hippo which keeps on opening it's disgusting humongous mouth drooling a few feet away from our table. Very appetizing Hanji. " He deadpans.

"Of course it has a big mouth silly, it's a hippo. Still what a lovely date we had back then. "

"We could've just went to a nature park Hanji."

"Ah, you and your silly complaints. What's done is done, and did you not enjoy it Levi? I know you did,." She smirks sheepishly at him.

He raised his brow at her. "And how did you know?"

"Because you were smiling so much on our way home. You even spent the night with me after. "

He tugged her hair playfully, knowing she's very right.

Giggling, she looked deeply on his grey eyes and muttered, "I really promise next time you choose the place, hmmm. "

(And there goes the puppy eyes).

He sighed. He really have to train his self to fucking resist that face in case next time Hanji will ask him to eat a whole crocodile just for her entertainment.

"Fucking four eyes. Fine. You're lucky I love you."

She jumped in joy. "I know, so let'sgo?"

He can't help but smile at the fond memory.

But no matter how good those times they've had, it wouldn't erase the cruel things he did. He thought he was going to escape it and would be able to live a happy life with Hanji. But no, Now that he knows that it's her sister who he raped. And the reason she died is because of the crime he committed yo her, Even if he ask for forgiveness things will never be the same again.

And Hanji.

How will she accept the fact that she's in love with a criminal. The man she was about to marry was a rapist.

Dammit!

Dammit!

She is so worried now. But she doesn't know whether to talk to him or to give him some time alone.

She should have tried a different approach. Maybe she should've just told it to him after their wedding -Oh my God! what if Levi decides to leave her. No! that can't be!

She has to see him. She has to go and explain it to him well.

"Uhmm...miss Hanji, I can't find where my color is." A little girl interrupted her trail of thoughts. They were in the artroom and she's teaching the kids today.

"Oh! sure. Here. Let me help you." she smiled kindly to the cute little girl, around 4-5 years of age.

"Miss Hanji are you alright?"

"Yeah, of course I am sweety. Why do you ask?"

"You look like your sad, Miss Hanji." She looks so cute this way while looking up at her.

"Oh do I? No sweety, I'm just thinking about something. " She heard the little girl gasp.

"Miss Hanji, it's cute! "

"Huh? What is." is she talking about me?

"Why do you have butterflies?"the little girl inquired.

" Oh you mean this? " She remembers wearing the necklace yesterday after leaving her childhood house, after Levi ran away.

"It's called necklace ." she explained to the child, though she doubts the child knew what a necklace is at her current age.

"Necklaces? Is pretty. " She beams at her.

"Well, thank you. " She ruffles the child's blond hair.

"Where did you get it. Miss Hanji? "

"Oh my parents give it to us when we were just little girls like you. Me and my twin sister.

"You have twin? " the child's eyes grew wide at her revelation.

She chuckled, "Yes I do, But actually this one really belongs to her,mine was lost long time ago. "

"Oh that's sad.. " The child pouted as if she's the one who lost the necklace.

"It is, but for the meantime let's go find your color first. " She tried to divert their topic, because as of now, she wants to clear her head. She needs to focus her attention to her students.

"Alright." The little girl nods and run to find her missing color.

She was interrupted when her coworker suddenly came inside the room. "Hanji, what happened to Levi? "

She standstill, "What do you mean? "

"I saw him standing at the door while I was walking my way here, then he just ran off, I don't know. He didn't even said something when he bumped at me. He really looks like he's in a hurry. What happened did you guys had a fight? "

She dropped the colours she was holding.

She begins to shake. Trembling in fear and worry. He must have heard it. Oh my God Levi!

She ran after him. Ignoring her friend and the little girl's calls to her. She's crying, her glasses are starting to fog, making it harder for her to see but she can't stop. Even for just a minute. She has to see him and explain everything to him.

'Levi please wait for me. '

He could feel the cold wind piercing his skin. It's so cold, so painful. He doesn't want to feel pain any more. He doesn't want to feel anything, doesn't want to feel any more. He's so tired. He wants to end this now,to escape from reality. For he wished long time ago that everything was just a dream...He wants to give up now. He can't fight any more. He wants to leave everything behind. He wants to become so numb. And he knows just how to do it.

He will do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhmm, here's the 3rd chapter guys.Sorry if I told you guys earlier that this fic will only have three chapters. I had to make this one because I want to justify the ending I'm going to give this story. Hope you enjoy it. Thank you all for reading my story, kudos and awesome comments.


	4. Salvation

It was a nice sunny day. Nice weather. Warm and bright just the way Levi likes it to be.

 

He always liked the sun, yet he always complains when she takes him to the beach, for she really loves that place.

 

He hates rain. Saying something about being gross, wet and muddy, and not to mention the filth.  He said rain reminds him a lot of his past, him and Eren's. Back when they have nothing. When they have to steal to survive. They we're exposed early to the cruelty of life, but they survived. They fought hard to live in this world, to be able to have a chance in life. But things didn't do well for Eren. But he was fortunate enough, and he partly despise himself for that. It should be Eren, the happiness he have, or had should have been for Eren. He's innocent, clumsy and affectionate. Not him, who's cruel, standoffish and emotionless man. But that was him before, that's how his life was before. That's why he hates rainy season, it's dark, and always remind of his past he wants t permanently erase in his mind.

 

Then she came into his life and brought light to him, as cheezy as it sounds, but it's the truth. He said it to her after making up after having a fight and he can't stand her having a grudge  over him, so he spilled all his emotions on that day. He never felt so embarrassed his entire, but he didn't regret it, as long as he has her back.

 

But for Hanji Zoe, he was the one who brought life to her. Even if he is always gloomy and grumpy, no one might believe her but every time his around, her heart always beats fast. There's a different kind joy bubbling inside of her that she can't explain. She feels hot every time his around. There's like a bolt of electrity that is crawling in her skin every time he touches her, even if it's just a simple hand holding or brushing of skin. And she always want it to be like that, but things are bound to happen and there is no stopping it. Like what's happening now.

 

 

She ran after Levi after knowing that he's been there, in the doorway listening to them. He could possibly put two and two together and figure everything out.

 

She's afraid- no petrified of things that is running in his mind right now. She wants to block the thoughts forming in her mind, she needs to calm herself. Damn. She didn't know the impact it will cause Levi but she knows he's in a very big trouble. 

 

"Can you make it faster please. I really need to get there fast. " she pleaded the driver. If only she could fly instantly to where Levi is right now.

 

"It's the fastest speed we can go ma'am," an old man driving the cab answered. She feels helpless. She can't do nothing but to wait. She needs to reach him before he can do something reckless that will hurt him and her. As much as she wants to stay strong and keep herself from breaking, she can't help but feel her knees getting weak. She loves him so much, she won't forgive herself if something happens to him because of her stubbornness, but she doesn't want to think of the consequences anymore, no more buts and ifs. What she wants for now was to get to Levi on time, and no matter what, she'll make him stay with her.

 

She's been crying since she left the centre to follow Levi,and the old man can't help but feel pity for her,

"Are you OK mam? "

 

She jumped at the old man's sudden question."Y-yes I am. "

 

But the old driver just gave her a sad look. He doesn't know what's wrong with her but he wants to help her, seeing how bad her state is right now. 

"Forgive me, but if you want too, I could give you some advise. I'm an old man after all, I have a lot of experience. Is it about your husband or boyfriend, did you had a fight with him?"

 

She fonders if she would talk to this man, but he seem kind and she needs someone to talk to afterall. It's up to her any way whether to accept his advise or not.

 

"We. ..we kind of had a big argument, a-and I'm afraid he's walking away from me because of some misunderstanding, and I don't want that. "she shook her head, not wanting to think of that scenario.

 

The old man nods few times at her words. 

 

"I see, well if he trully loves you he won't do that. "

She looked at the man and wiped her tears, silently hoping that the he is right.

 

"I'm afraid that's s not what he's s thinking right now. "

 

"You love him so much, and I can tell he does to, so if you really love each other no matter how big the problem or challenges that may come to you, he will still go back to you. As long as you make him feel that you love him, that he is wanted, no matter where he'll go, he will always go back. " he gave her a sympathetic small smile, some wrinkles at the outer corner of his eyes and mouth showing.

 

Her tears fall down her checks, somehow, this man's words gave courage to her. He's right, she's grateful for talking with him.

 

"Thank you,  I will always remember that, "

Even though she's crying she can't help but smile to the old man. How she wished he could be her Dad. It would be nice having a family as caring as him.

 

 

The car stopped in front of Levi's house. As soon as she came out of it, she notices that the door in his house was slightly ajar. His car door is open, but she didn't pay it any mind. She rushed inside the house to find him. He didn't even bother to turn the lights on,

 

'Oh my God Levi! where are you, what are you thinking?'

 

She tried looking in the living room, in the kitchen, and in the bathroom, but he's not there. She runs upstairs and she saw his room. But she's afraid to open the door and go inside, afraid of what she could find behind it. It's so dark and quiet. With shaky steps she reached for the doorknob and slowly open his door.

 

Her heart skipped a beat at what she's seeing right now.

 

" Oh God Levi no! " She falls on her knees, tears streaming down her face, fists clenched on her sides. Never did she imagine, that this day would come again. And she prays to whoever God that's listening, That this time it's all just a nightmare even if she won't be waking up from it.

 

 

                         -----------

 

He was driving back to the centre, after spending almost the whole night thinking over things with Hanji and things he should do while he's in that beach.

 Thinking back of how much he loves her and the times they had spend together, those years they were together and everything they planned for their future. Somehow it made his mind clearer. He will talk to her, explain everything, and its up to her whatever she wants to do with him after. He will accept it with no grudge at all. If she wants to scream at him, beat him to death or send him to jail, he will accept it, for he decided long ago that he is very willing to go to hell for all his crimes. He already decided long before that he will surrender his faith to the woman he wronged if this day would ever come, but since she's dead, It's now Hanji who will decide his faith. 

 

He looks around the building. All his memory of this place suddenly sprang in his mind. All the happy and annoying memory he has in this place with her that he treasures. For this is where he became human again. This is where he found his self again, but mostly because this is where his life was brought back to him by that messy, annoying and loud woman.

 

He was walking towards the art room. It's where she is today. He knows her schdule very well, she insisted on giving him the list of her schedule so he wouldn't have a hard time finding her. It annoys him a lot for assuming that she's the only reason why he keeps on going back in this place. Then she said she also drew the map of the whole place at the back so he wouldn't get lost. She also marks the place where she usually stays and even wrote the time she would be there. He wants to rip her head off for treating him like a fucking child but she smiled innocently at him, but still his pissed and they argue for a few minutes. His reason for treating him like a child and an idiot and her reasoning that she was just being nice to him. They continued bickering until it was time for Zoe's class. He was still glaring daggers at her back when she started to go the room she was about to teach, but he took the list nevertheless and put it inside his wallet.

 

He was about to knock on the door when he heard a child voice talking to Hanji. He decided to just wait for her class to end so they could talk without any interruptions. He took a glance behind the door and can't help but hear some of their conversation.

 

" Oh you mean this? "He saw her talking to a little girl. 

 

"It's called necklace ." he heard her saying to the child. What necklace is she talking about? 

 

"Necklaces? Is pretty. "

 

"Well, thank you. " he patiently listen to their conversation wondering what neclase they are talking about. Could it be that-

 

"Where did you get it. Miss Hanji? "

 

"Oh my parents gave it to us when we we're just little girls like you. Me and my twin sister."

 

"You have twin? "

 

"Yes I do. " his eyes widen, Why is she wearing that thing? 

 

"But actually this one really belongs to her, mine was lost long time ago. "

 

...

 

 THE FUCk! The necklace he took that night, it doesn't belong to her sister, She's... she's the owner... 

 

"Oh that's sad.. "

 

His eyes widen in surprise. He covered his mouth with his hand, suddenly he felt like he wants to throw up. He leans on the door as he heard Zoe and the child still talking, he is too weak to stand on his own now, every muscle in his body feels like it was loosened and being torn apart. His bone feels like it's going to collapse and his head feels like it will explode anytime. He steadied himself and turned his back. He took a quiet and quick steps, making sure no one will notice he's here. He is not ready yet. He can't face her, Damn he could never face her. All his courage suddenly melted. He thought he would be able to do it, to salvage anything that's left between them. 

But now... fuck! it just gotten worst, just like that day he found out Eren's death. His hopes and dreams... all shattered in just a snap. Nothing's gonna be alright, nothing's gonna make it alright!

 

He heads for the door, he needs to get out of here. This place is making him dizzy. Everything becomes so different. His surrounding is slowly becoming blurred, but he just kept on walking steadfastly. He didn't even notice people staring at him, asking him questions, he just kept on walking until he disappeared from their sight.

 

He drove fast, but this time even if his mind is buzzing he knows where he is going.

 

To his final destination.

 

He parked his car in front of his house. He opened the door slowly. It's dark, but he didn't bother turning on the lights. He doesn't need it. That's right,  because he doesn't deserve it. 

 

And Hanji.

 

She never deserve someone like him. He should be buried alive, no punishment could ever suffice for what he had done to her. 

He passed through his living room. He remembers the nights they spend here ,cuddling in the couch. Watching horror movies which she very loved much to his disdain. 

Ever since the day he let her in into his life everything has changed. His life becomes messy, noisy ,and full of banters, but he decided he loves it much this way.

He began stopping to question her antics and weird habits long time ago for the sake of his sanity. He knows even if she kept annoying him in purpose or not, he wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Because she is his happiness. 

 

He went straight to his room and saw his bed. He remembers how they fight for their side of the bed, He won the right side for the very first time against that woman. But he suspects she just gave in because she knows he has difficulty in sleeping.  But she won the second round when they fought who should be the big spooon and the teaspoon as she teases him( she insist it should be teaspoon because he likes tea).  

And then the breakfast in bed she dutifully prepared for him as her apology for accidentally spilling his windex when she tried cleaning his house as surprise for him. His heart melted at the gesture and her effort but almost killed her when he chews on the rice and almost crushed his teeth. She kept on  apologizing and she even offers him to eat outside instead. 

 

He looked in the window and saw it's raining outside.

Just like that day, when she dragged him outside and made him dance in the rain with her. He strongly refused her, for he never dreamed of ruining his reputation by looking stupid and lunatic in the loose in his neighborhood. But when she just shrugged her shoulders and started swaying her hands up and down and dance around him like he was some sort of a suffering to be burn alive as an offering to a God, he gave in and decided to finally make himself miserable for a few minutes by dancing like an idiot. But the smile she gave him was priceless.

 

Now he will never get to see those smiles again. He would never hear her loud voice, and see her messy hair, her pretty and stupid face. He would never be able to touch her soft body-

Fuck! 

That body he trashed years ago,  with some men, in his order.  He even payed them to rape her, over and over again. 

 

 

He walked to his desk. He opened his drawer and the secret compartment inside it, there lies his gun. Which he originally bought to kill the girl who hurt his brother, but he changed his decision later on and planned on a different way of having his payback. 

And beside it was the necklace  which he took from the woman's neck that day. On Hanji's neck. Tears began to pour down his face. How could he be so stupid. Why didn't he noticed it for all this years. Why hadn't he figured it out. That it was her, It was his Hanji.  And she say he hide his secrets better than anyone of them. 

 

Those men.  Those idiots. Why did he ever trust those morons to bring the right person to him. 

 

Why did he hurt her, why her.

 

He took the gun out of his drawer. he stared at it for a moment. the cold metal lying on his palms, in a few minutes he will be as cold as this. He took several bullets and loaded it to his gun.

He stared at his face on the window glass.  He can't read any expression, just like before. His narrow eyes, pale skin, and his cold stare, suitable for a cold monster like him. 

 

 

'That's your punishment for wanting to be happy even if you don't deserve it. '

 

 He can hear a voice talking to him, but he can't see anyone around. Is it a ghost,  his conscience? Maybe he's going crazy. He continue loading bullets to his gun, and the voice keeps on talking to him.

 

 'For committing a crime and wanting to escape from it. You should have learned your lesson.  Happiness doesn't suit you.  There'll be no second chance for you.  She will never forgive you.!'

 

 

'Now bear the fruit of your false hopes.  Your stupidity! '

 

He lifted his gone slowly and pointed it on his head.

 

'Don't  think anymore,  just pull the trigger and everything will be over. That's what you want right?  To be free...  Pull the trigger. that's all you need to do.  And everything will be alright again. '

 

 

"-evi... Levi... Leviii!!! "

 

'That voice,  I know that voice,  but I can't remember who.' 

 

 

 

"Levi.. Please stop! don't do it, Levi! "

 

'Levi....Yes that's me.  That's my name but why is, she calling me? '

 

"Levi!  Please don't leave me, I love you!"

 

 

'Love?  Yeah!  Eren used to say that to me... always.  My brother,  I love him too,  even if I don't say it that much to him. '

 

 

 

"Levi, please, I love you so much....don't leave me, I'm begging you! "

 

Begging... Why is she begging to me?  that woman... she's begging me to stop... but why?... there's a woman...lying on the table...naked. 

She's  crying. Crying?  Hanji....

 

He blinked and slowly turned around, and there he could see a woman on the floor on her knees.  

 

'She looks like she is praying., but she's  shaking. What is she saying? ...That hair,  looks familiar to me. Why is she crying? why is she calling my name? '

 

He fully turned his body to her, curious as to who is this woman and why is she crying. He put the gun down on his desk without noticing it. 

 

He slowly made his way to the woman on the floor. He crouched down beside her and touched her back to offer her comfort and stop her from crying. 

 

The woman was startled and she lifted her head immediately. Her eyes didn't stopped shedding tears. Her face is so red from crying for a long time and she's breathing  fast.  

 

'She looks so pretty but sad. Hurt and relief could be seen in her eyes when he looked at them. But why?'

    

                         -----------

 

When she felt someone touched her back, she felt a tiny ray of hope and relief washed over her form. She lifted her head and confirmed, It is indeed Levi. 

 

She was astonished and couldn't speak for a mere seconds. Can't believe what she is seeing right now. He is alive...still alive!

She didn't waste much more time and throw her hands around his shoulders  immediately and gripped his hair tightly. 

 

"What we're you thinking? why, why did you even think of that,?how could you Levi? how could you!?" She scolded him angrily. 

 

 

'This warm feeling,  so familiar,  her voice,  her touch.  the feeling of her body against me. Hanji... '

 

"Hanji.... "His vision became focused. He stared at her. He didn't dare to take his eyes away from her fearing it's just his imagination again and she'll vanish anytime. So he put his arms around her and held her waist closer to him. He inhaled her scent,  her very own scent that's like a toxic to his soul, his very own aphrodisiac. She's real and she is here in front of him, hugging him. She's with him and he never wanted to be anywhere else but here.  With his woman. 

 

"The hell Levi, don't you ever do this again!"

She pulled away from him and cupped his face. H is e also crying. He tried to hide his face and refused to look at her. 

 

"Y-you don't know what your talking about Hanji, you don't know-"

 

"Stop! please... just stop. What makes you think that taking your own life will make anything better? Don't you know me at all Levi? Whatever you did wrong, do you think killing yourself would satisfied me?"

 

 She's very hurt,. She did suspect Levi will act like this once he found out about the truth.  That's why she has been very careful.  The reason why she waited this long before she spills out the truth. She thought she could make Levi understand and just accept their faith.  That they could do nothing about it but embrace it and do everything to live a happy life. She almost lost him.  She almost lost the one person holding her together.

 

 

"Did I never made you feel loved at all,? Didn't you know how much I love you? how much I need you? Tell me Levi, Tell me!"

 

He shakes his head. He is so confused right now. Why would she need someone like him. Why does she still love him?

 

"I'm pregnant Levi. I'm carrying your child, so if you still want to kill your self, go on. But  I swear to you if you ever did that, I would kill my self too, together with our child after. I swear to you Levi! " she doesn't want to do this.  She doesn't want to threaten their child's life, but she's desperate now. She would do everything to save him from his self. 

 

"Hanji... " he's still crying.  Both from happiness and despair. He feels so happy knowing that he'll be a father soon. He and Hanji will finally have their own family. But what about his crime? 

 

"Hanji,  You don't know what you're getting yourself into. "

 

"Please, Levi don't leave me, I don't think I could make it again this time-"she gripped his shirt and touched her forehead against his shoulder "- please....I'm begging you... "

 

She fainted, with tears still lingering in her eyes she tried to beg and cling to Levi as tight as she could, As long as she could. Hoping this could make him realize how serious she was with ever word she said. Hoping he could realize much he really meant to her. 

 

Worried, he shook her gently trying to wake her up. "Hanji, Hanji, what's wrong? Hanji, wake up."

 

 

She heard him calling her name, and before everything turns to black, she felt him squeezing her back. Her last thoughts before losing her consciousness was hearing Levi's voice, he was saying something to her, but she's too tired to comprehend his words. 

 

She doesn't want to close her eyes, for he might be gone when she wakes up. 

 


End file.
